Manong

ME: OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!! We are driving around in circles, where the hell is that Biggs?  “Puro one-way! Ortigas lang?!?”

ETS:  MY GAS! let’s ask that mama over there, pull over!

Pulled over in style.

ETS:  Kuya, how do we get to Biggs?

MANONG:  “Ay dun pa yun sa Albay!

ETS/ME:  What!!! Di ba Legazpi na ito?!  At ang Legazpi ay nasa Albay?!?”

By this time we were both already hysterically confused, not to mention starving.  The thought that we were not yet in Legazpi at that time of night made me just want to poke my eye with a fork!

ME:  Naku ‘te, close the window, I think he’s drunk, baka sumuka yan sa’yo!

But ETS continued to ask the manong with all the patience she could muster.

ETS:  Eh, paano po pupunta dun sa Albay?, sounding mechanical, a hint of restrained sarcasm, frustrated.

MANONG:  “AH, EH, SAKAY KAYO NG JEEP, P7.50 pasahe papunta dun, sabihin nyo na lang sa driver!

ETS, in the calmness of her spirit, slowly rolled up the car window and looked at me with her blank doe eyes.  I looked straight back.

ETS/ME:  KOYA!!! NASA KOTSE KAMI, ISASAKAY BA NAMIN ITO SA JEEP!!!, and we both burst into an unspeakable laughter like hyenas in the wild.

Turns out, what the locals call Albay is the old business district of the city.  After a century, we finally found Biggs, ate dinner, and immediately went our way to look for a hotel… for another century.

In the morning, we found in our hearts to forgive Legazpi for all the confusion and the agonizing hunger, for this… (we didn’t know we were this close)

Laundry

EVIL TWIN SISTER (ETS):  You know A, I really hate it when I ask someone to go on a trip with me and I’d get an answer like “I can’t, I’m doing my laundry this weekend.”.  Shut the F…ront door! I bet that is REALLY exciting!

ME: My thought exactly! Why, can’t they forego doing it themselves just for a weekend?  Hello! Laundromats are a dime a dozen these days, it won’t hurt your old clothes to be machine-washed once in a while!

ETS:  Trudis Liit!  They can just say “No, I am not interested, thank you very much!” and spare themselves from the horror of making up lame excuses.

ME:  On the other hand, we can give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe they were just really genetically designed to be domesticated and we should not take it against them.

ETS:  Oh well, I guess that’s a good way to look at it.  I think we’re just lucky that we don’t have as much hang ups in life, or we’re just plain aimless suicidal morons trying to enjoy life.

ME:  We’re here!!!

ETS:  Now that’s what I am talking about!

Catholic

Somebody: I could see that you really are having fun going on joy rides and all, but it looks pretty tiring, especially the Bicol one.

Me: You can never be more right. It is tiring to go on long trips like that, but hey, you have all the time to rest in peace sooner or later.

Somebody: But I am not Catholic so what’s in it for me to see old churches?

Me: But when a Catholic goes to Thailand, he goes to see the temples, right? I am not Catholic either but old churches interest me. I look at them as monuments of our colonial past. And there are pretty amazing artifacts in there as well. Treat them as museums or architectural masterpieces and you’ll appreciate them. Besides, the ride itself is fun, you get to see the countryside and breathe fresh air. You don’t see that much green in the city plus the sky is bluer for whatever reason. (In my frustrated mind: why, is it more interesting and fun to stay home on weekends and bask in the smelly (dis)comfort of your unkempt room instead?)

Somebody: Oh well, you can be right, but I don’t think I am up for that.

Me: Oh well as well, it is your choice. But as for me, exhausting it may be, I will continue to do it as long as I physically can. I don’t wanna look back at my life some twenty years from now and learn that I have not really seen anything around me. Nor finally decide to explore but is too old to do so. Besides, I am not even sure that I have that long a future so I might as well enjoy life while alive (Bon Jovi much?).

Somebody: Okay, I’ll think about it.

Me: Just do it!

Finally!

found the inspiration to start my own. read on!