Manong

ME: OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!!! We are driving around in circles, where the hell is that Biggs?  “Puro one-way! Ortigas lang?!?”

ETS:  MY GAS! let’s ask that mama over there, pull over!

Pulled over in style.

ETS:  Kuya, how do we get to Biggs?

MANONG:  “Ay dun pa yun sa Albay!

ETS/ME:  What!!! Di ba Legazpi na ito?!  At ang Legazpi ay nasa Albay?!?”

By this time we were both already hysterically confused, not to mention starving.  The thought that we were not yet in Legazpi at that time of night made me just want to poke my eye with a fork!

ME:  Naku ‘te, close the window, I think he’s drunk, baka sumuka yan sa’yo!

But ETS continued to ask the manong with all the patience she could muster.

ETS:  Eh, paano po pupunta dun sa Albay?, sounding mechanical, a hint of restrained sarcasm, frustrated.

MANONG:  “AH, EH, SAKAY KAYO NG JEEP, P7.50 pasahe papunta dun, sabihin nyo na lang sa driver!

ETS, in the calmness of her spirit, slowly rolled up the car window and looked at me with her blank doe eyes.  I looked straight back.

ETS/ME:  KOYA!!! NASA KOTSE KAMI, ISASAKAY BA NAMIN ITO SA JEEP!!!, and we both burst into an unspeakable laughter like hyenas in the wild.

Turns out, what the locals call Albay is the old business district of the city.  After a century, we finally found Biggs, ate dinner, and immediately went our way to look for a hotel… for another century.

In the morning, we found in our hearts to forgive Legazpi for all the confusion and the agonizing hunger, for this… (we didn’t know we were this close)